Tra-La, It’s May! Surviving the Season of Crazy

Yikes, It’s May Again!

May–there’s Cinco de Mayo, Mother’s Day, Memorial Day, and of course, Memorial weekend.

If you have kids, there might school activities like open house, the book fair, a school-wide art show, and final choir and orchestra concerts. If you have kids in sports, you probably have games every weekend. And all this multiplies per child!

If you have a soon-to-be high school graduate, May is when all the graduation fun begins–practice, parties, baccalaureate, lock-in, and more, all preparatory to the big event in June. (And don’t forget the actual May graduations from universities and colleges.)

Then, mix in possible birthdays (mine’s this month–and in such close proximity to Mother’s day that my eldest son grumbles every time this season rolls around), baby and bridal showers, and weddings. I’m exhausted. I don’t know if I have the energy to complete this post!

How to Survive

My Saturday morning blog reading was particularly fruitful today. Three posts, in particular, really inspired me.

Embrace the Blessing of Interrupted Plans

Check out: Motherhood, Transformation by Interruption.

Like Sarah Bessey, I am a chronic planner. I have lists of my lists, and even plan what I hope to achieve on a stay at home and rest day! However, the best laid plans often get interrupted. Especially during a crazy-making month like May.

What I learned: When plans get interrupted, go with the flow. Though interruptions may at first feel like adversaries, they very often are the delivery systems of blessing.

Smile

Check out: The Best Parenting Advice I Ever Received.

Amy Julia Becker reflects on her experience parenting a very able disabled daughter.

What I learned: Focus on what is good. Focus on what is a source of strength and joy. And appreciate these things.

Sure, May is a crazy month, but it also provides opportunities to invest in our precious children’s and loved one’s lives. Smile. Celebrate. And remember, summer is coming.

Savor

Check out: What Slowing Down Teaches You that Rushing Never Will.

Busy, busy, busy. That’s how so many of us view life and purpose. We even wear “Busy” like a badge of honor. However, Elisa Fryling Stanford observes her small daughter’s very different mode of living.

What I learned: Savor the moment. Be where and who you are now. Hold on to your schedules loosely. Consider lowering your expectations of yourself for just a little while. Maybe don’t even plan so much. (Especially this month, when so much is expected of you.)

I have had to learn this the hard way these last few months as I recover from a concussion. So I have decided it’s okay if this month (again) I don’t submit some writing project every week for representation or publication. It’s okay if, having returned to work, I come home for my Wednesday writing afternoons and only write a little. (I got a raging headache a week or so ago when I lost myself in “flow” and looked up to discover I’d been writing for two and a half hours straight. Ouch. Really!)

Right now, I need to embrace going a little slower, spending a little more time looking out the window at what’s coming into bloom outdoors, or just stretching across the foot of my granddaughter’s bed with my head on her pillow while she finishes her homework.

Yes, I have goals, dreams, and responsibilities. But when the calendar goes crazy, maybe its time to cut yourself a little slack and just savor the moment.

Enjoy your crazy, wonderful month of May!

*Lilly of the Valley courtesy of http://thegraphicsfairy.com/

A Solution to Butterfly Brain?

I read an article in the May Family Circle magazine that really spoke to me.

To be up front, I am in rebellion against multi-tasking. When I try to do it, either my brain skips here and there like a butterfly in an English country garden, or I just get stressed out and can’t seem to do anything right. I believe the much hallowed efficiency of multi-tasking to be a myth.

So, “Mind Control,” by Robin Westen , was balm to my spirit. Westen does not discuss mind control as some outsider  coming in and controlling our minds (although, hmmm, perhaps that could be useful), but rather as me (or you) learning to better control the minds we possess. The key is focus.

Our days, our world can be so fragmented. We’ve got media coming in from multiple sources and directions, and so many tasks relating to the multiple and varied aspects of our lives needing attention.

My attention is valuable, and so is yours. Westin interviewed Winifred Gallagher, who likens attention to money. Gallagher says, “Just the way you’re careful about where you put your dollars, you need to be careful about where you invest your attention.”

Dr. Gloria Mark, also interviewed for the article said,“If we are interrupted from a task, it takes us a full 23 minutes to circle back to our original degree of concentration.” Wow, that was a revelation!

So how do we improve our focus? Westen’s first tip is a great big “Duh.” Before setting down to an activity we need to eliminate distractions. The less distractions in the environment around us, the better our focus.

When working at an activity, focus for a maximum of 90 minutes. At that point, according to Gallagher, or minds seek their own breaks.

The article calls attention to a variety of ways our lack of focused attention impacts our lives and provides ideas for strengthening this mental skill. If you, like me, struggle with butterfly brain, check out the article. It’s a good read.

http://www.familycircle.com/health/improvement/how-to-focus-and-pay-attention/